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This is a blog about our life. I started the blog because we lived overseas for my husbands job. That meant it was hard to keep family, back in The States, in the loop about what we were up to. It also became a great way to share my sons birth story with everyone who we wish could have been there. I slowly got busy with life & stopped blogging. Here we are in 2014, living back in the good ol' USA & as we make life changes I find this to be a great way to share my thoughts and save them for my son to look back on someday.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Re: He Deploys. You Run Home

So this post is in response to another bloggers post. I disagree with the post and would like to respond. No I do not have beef with her, I happen to be friends with her and think she is pretty amazing. I just want to give me perspective on the issue.
Here is the original post in case you are curious, He Deploys. You Run Home.
We have only been through one deployment. The Mr was gone for 6 months. I decided that it was best for me to stay here in Germany and stay in school while he was gone. I was in school full time, therefore, I was in class 4 days out of the week. However, if I were not in school and not working I would have gone home for the deployment. And looking back on it, I regret not going home. Yes going home means I would be living with my mom at her house for the entire deployment. Does this make me a "DEPENDASAURUS"? Well let's be honest here, I DO depend on my husband financially. However, when I go stay with my mom she doesn't pay anything for me/us. We actually help her out with bills and buy groceries etc. Mommy doesn't "take care of me" either. Sure she makes some awesome meals, but she doesn't hold my hand through life, although I am sure she would if I needed her to. That is what moms are there for after all. So, I wouldn't move back because I can't handle being alone. I have already proven that is not an issue for me. I would move back for one reason, and that is to spend time with my family.
I feel like our time here on Earth is short. We will spend years and years away from family and missing out on things because of the military life. Why should we spend time away when we don't have to? Those 6 months that I stayed here in Germany are 6 months worth of memories I could have made with my family. I wouldn't have missed out on birthdays and other important events. I feel even more strongly about this now that we have a baby. We will go home as a family as much as we can afford to in order for them to see him and him to see them. And if and when The Mr deploys again, The Kid and I will go home for those deployments (unless I have a job or school that doesn't permit it). Once again for the same reason, that is 6 months worth of memories with family that we cant get back.
So for me I don't see a problem with going home on deployments because it is not about not being able to make it on my own. It is about spending time with loved ones and making memories with them. That is all valuable time I will never take for granted.
Yes it really sucks my husband misses out on those memories and that time with family. But just because he has to miss out does not mean that our son shouldn't have that time with our families.
Also, some people talk about how hard it is not being in your own home. Sure after a few weeks my mom gets on my nerves LOL. But in my eyes it is worth it. 50 years from now I don't want to regret not spending more time with my mom just because she got on my nerves a little.
I want to look back years from now and say " I am so glad I spent as much time with ____ as I could." because once they are gone, they are gone forever and we can't go back in time and do it different. I will look back and know that we made as many memories as possible and The Kid knew his family even if it was only for a couple months at a time.
Also, lets be honest, deployments are not easy. Why not surround yourself with the people who love you the most during the tough times. Time flies when you're having fun and for me time really flies when I'm with family. What better way to make a deployment fly by?
In the end, going home doesn't make anyone a worse Military Wife. To each his own.

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